randomize

Last Saturday, out of the unquenchable thirst to discover more of the world and the immortal ‘carpe diem’, and the fact that it was a sort of assignment for plmers, we trekked to the Cultural Center of the Philippines for Cinemalaya (the Phil Independent Film Festival).

We watched one full length film (Ang Huling Araw ng Linggo) and five short films (Puwang, Parang Pelikula, Putot, Orasyon and Sa Silaw) to get a taste of both categories. I can’t help thinking why o why haven’t I learned of this before! So a new event is set in my yearly calendar, we’d be there again next year. I wish we could’ve seen all the entries but there is the question of time and resources.

Well, we were not exactly pressed for time… the first movie we watched ended around 3pm and the next one was at 9pm. Basically, we spent hours upon hours ogling the diverse fashion statements of the people around, wandering around the entire CCP in search of exhibits to feast our eyes on, and the usual endless talks on almost everything we could think of. It was wonderful watching the fountain in front of the building that night while it was softly raining after we’ve explored every exhibit there is. We perused every brochure and calendar of events, our minds running the possibilities of what we would watch and when promising ourselves to come back and make use of the extensive library, enjoy the scheduled exhibits and continue to be immersed in the wonderful and vast world of art.

Anyway, we seem to have another chance to catch all those we didn’t get to watch last week. For those interested (I mean the one or two people who actually swing by) UP-Diliman is showing them Mon-Thurs next week in the film institute/center/whatever! Check their website for more accurate details…

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Bakit wala ka pang sinasabi, parang alam ko na? Ayokong maging tama pero parang hindi nagkakamali ang hinala ko?

Ano pa ba ang bubuwag sayo? Ano pa ang sisira sa masaya at malambing mong pagkatao? Nawawala na ang dating ngiti mo. Sana hindi ka masira. Sana hindi matunaw ang mga pangarap mo at mawala nang tuluyan ang iyong kasiyahan. Sana hindi ka rin biktima.

Oo, minsan talaga bullshit ang mundo…

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My life is filled with stories not my own. Almost everyday, a new book is opened and I’m lost in a new world until the last page closes. Then I stare transfixed, pulling myself out of that universe I was temporarily and silently part of. A few breaths after, I delve into the next one.

It’s unfortunate that we are offered but a glimpse of a particular world and that no matter how strongly we want to just disappear into the words breathing through the pages, the story always ends and we’re pulled out to face the reality of our own world, our own stories. At times, I can’t help feeling like I’m procrastinating on life. It’s like I’m transfixed to this spot just waiting for something to happen… as if I’m waiting for life to happen.

Well, it’s not as if I’d run out of books to read while waiting.

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Pag gising ko kaninang umaga, pakiramdam ko may kakaiba. Pero, syempre bagong gising, hindi ko pinansin… tumuloy lang ako sa usual routine. Pagkatapos kong maligo at matapos lumipas ang di ko namalayang mga minuto sa pag-aayos ng kwarto, napansin ko kung ano ang bago, sumikat ang araw.

Sa hindi ko malamang kadahilanan, pinatapyas ng tatay ko ang mga sanga ng puno ng mangga na nakatakip sa may bintana ko. Bukod sa skeleton ng kaawa-awang puno, pagtingin ko sa labas ng bintana tila nag-aapoy ang mga bundok sa pagkalat ng kulay ng araw. Ang ganda! Pati mga maninipis na mga ulap nakulayan at nakatutuwang makita ang contrast ng dilim sa sobrang orange na ilaw na parang tumapon mula sa kung saan.

Mahal ko ang ulan pero ang tagal na palang hindi nagiging ganito kakulay ang mundo ko. Unti-unting lumiliwanag ang kalangitan. Saka ko lang napansin, mala-late na pala ako.

Masaya manuod ng umaga.