battlecries

I hate Sundays. It’s an entire day of being locked up in my room doing nothing but sleeping and crawling an inch through my long list of books to read. It’s uneventful, boring and frustrating. Yes, I could probably do something to alleviate this irritation on an innocent day but then that is the point of Sunday, rest. Unfortunately, even on Sunday mornings I wake up at 4am cursing myself on waking since I probably would have just been sleeping for an hour or so. I sleep again and wake up mid afternoon to have a throbbing headache for sleeping too much.

Oh well.

I miss those times in high school when the whole school was our playground (actually, training field but then it still feels like playing at times). I miss the times we jogged and jumped over wooden benches, skirting in and out of pillars and tiring ourselves out ‘til we can’t really run any longer. I especially miss ‘battle cry’ where you just scream your frustrations, anger and tiredness away. I want to do that again. I want to shout my heart out.

Of course, in the real world it’s not really advisable to just suddenly shout, no matter how frustrated you are with everything. There would be questions, looks of concern as if you’ve finally fallen off your rocker, no one would really understand. And though some might get the reason they’d still look at you disapprovingly as if breaking that unspoken rule of ethical or proper behavior marks out for life as a stupid and probably insane person. I may just be paranoid. I probably shouldn’t really care. But then I do, I’ve spent enough time trying to build a reliable persona to shatter it for a reckless whim… of shouting my heart out.

Hahahaha

It seems so funny and so stupidly frustrating. I want to just let loose but I have too much self-control for it. I’m rambling. You’d get used to it.