i can barely remember the times when i barely feel exhausted. i feel like i'm always trying to squeeze in 15 more minutes of sleep, one more hour of rest, one more day just... i don't know, numb? stupid?
i wanna be all emo and stuff and wail pseudo angsty and totally cliche stuff like 'i don't know who i am anymore' or 'nobody loves me i want to die' (sorry kim, that's still never gonna get old) but heck, even if there is a measure of truth in those... i don't care anymore.
i'm tired. everything feels pointless again. what am i doing? why am i doing this? why can't i just waste away locked in padded room somewhere? (okay, kidding)
i used to have a life... well, okay, i've never really had an exciting existence, but it was peaceful (a lot of the time boring...) and almost exhaustion-free. i had time to read books and browse for movies on a weekday or at least hang out at a booksale dreaming about books i'm going to read someday.
i'll get that life back... just one more year, right?
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