first time, sam?

my brief flirtation with alcohol is over. last saturday i felt its queasy effects and decided i don't need this in my life.

making the long story and longer day/night short. i sort of got drunk? (with all the uncertainties included) well, there were no raucuous shallow laughter, no proliferation of obcenities, no babble of unintelligible words, no inexplicable depression, no hysterics or histrionics, no nothing. just lack of decent rest, feeling woozy and finally uncomfortably falling asleep. i woke up, stood up and walked out while for the first time i felt the world move somewhere. i sat outside trying to breathe it out and regain composure but it didn't go away easily.

i gave up trying to clear it away and gave in once again to the comforting unconciousness of dreams. i woke up without the supposedly heavy feeling of hangover or piercing headaches. the nausea was there and unexpected dysmenorrhea. i didn't vomit anything not like what they usually do. i didn't shout out that nobody loves me and i want to die (hehehehe). it was somewhat anti-climactic.

somehow while all of this were happening, i was dissecting the moment to imprint it in my mind and never have to repeat it again (haha) just like what i do with almost every new experince i hurdle myself into.

i wont say it was a worthless experience. i don't even know if i had really been literally drunk. i shared the experience with one of my friends in the office and he said i wasn't drunk just in the brink of it. i'd rather trust his judgement not just to save face but because i am sure he is more of an expert compared to me. but it wasn't my kind of high... it wasn't uplifting at all.

so there, the experiment was over. the morning after and a weak creamy cup of coffee and a bowl of chicken soup later in the middle of the stench of divisoria, i still wanted to throw up to somehow rid my system of alcohol. on the jeep ride home, sleeping most of it away, i guess the fatigue and nausea finally wore off. i was actually back to my usually wacky stupid self.

while holding on for dear life on a backride-tricycle home (tryc drivers in our place feel as if the road are theirs and their driving formula one racecars) i noticed how perfectly blue the sky was and how fluffy the clouds are. i got home. rinsed all the sweat and grime away, lay down to sleep then it rained. perfect.

okey. one down! next, i'm going to try to learn to smoke! hehehe

carpe diem?