...at work

i am boxer and muriel. because something went wrong, i believe i should work longer (harder?) yet i can't care less about anything that happens. if you don't get the allusion, go back read animal farm.

...

i've just downed my nth cup of coffee. i don't know why i think it would help me, i've never really felt any effects of coffee... i still think its all superficial. i stay awake as long as i need to be and even after mugs of caffeine, i'm still an incurable insomniac. its now 10 minutes after one in the morning, still 5 more hours before i can head home to sleep after another 16 hours in front of my pc. after that i have 7 hours to sleep before my next 16 more hours for this week... not including how much time i need to be here on the weekends. isn't life sweet?

i shouldn't/couldn't even be doing this while the burden of thousands of things i still need to do crowd my thoughts. but as my seatmate said (who left about 3 hours ago) i need to relax. i've always been a cathartic writer... until i overused its effectivity on me. but still...

i mean, it isn't as if anyone pays attention to this garbage...

...

people have remarked that i'm probably trying to kill myself by still being here and i'm probably overworking myself to an early grave... shucks, they know me all too well! it's fun that they care and it's also amusing. you'd probably say that i enjoy the attention even if its directed to my, uhm, weirdness. you'd probably be right... i'm trying to think of some half-sensical psychobabble to somehow redeem myself but brain functions leave me just when i figure out a good thing to use it on.

(whaa..!?!)

to be honest, i missed working nights. well, i loved it better if i haven't been here 8 hours before the original night sched, but what-the-hey! i'd take what i can get.

it does help that i'm getting paid extra for this. plus, i'm out of the house more!

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i'm rambling... it usually happens and becomes a habit if you've got no one aside from yourself to talk to for considerable length of time. again, i'm rambling... its fun, try it sometime.