new year?

its new year's eve and i'm dead bored.

actually, i'm also kinda hurt... but i don't want to delve into that just yet.

i guess i'm so easily drawn into depression. i know that this holiday season is also a season where suicide rates skyrocket and i have no plans yet of being one of those. but i hate the falsity of appearing cheerful and happy when all you really want to do is just lie and sleep in your room as the world counts down another year closer to its doom.

i want to die soon but i'd like to be here watching how this all ends...