echoes

lately i've been caought up in a novel by umberto eco, foucault's pendulum. i'm not even halfway through it and i'm already mesmerized. suddenly, i want to study history!

i would have loved being a european. imagine the wealth of history, art, philosophy and culture! imagine the large libraries of centuries of thought! imagine museums filled with countless forms of self expression! i would have loved all of that. but i think being immersed in all of it or being part of it all, i would probably lose all this excitement and wonder on its splendor. its almost human nature, we forgo and forget what we have and focus on what we don't.

that's my life! i breathe through pages of literature and pretend to live!

word association game... books : sanctuary.

i escape. the rest of my life is bleak and boring bordering on utter uselessness, or so i say. i'd rather not think of my life because it depresses me. i'd rather think my day is filled with unimportance because putting too much stress on things happening around me would make me realize how much bullshit there is on it. focusing on my life would be my own undoing.

so much for positivity, but let's trudge on...