ranting half awake

its 3pm. I'm still at work. And considering that office hours are 10pm to 6am...

sheesh!

i have a terrible headache and are having delusions of breaking in to one of our managers' drawers just to get an advil and somehow blow my head off or at least make it feel a little more like a head and not a heavy bowling ball made of glass that is ready to fall off my shoulders and splatter my invisible brain matter on newly vacuumed carpet that we're still steadily scattering bits of paper, foil and whatnots on.

i hate this week.

i'm ranting. i don't usually rant... at least not much for the past few weeks. i'm disappointing myself. this (blogging) has successfully weaned me away from my battered journal i think is still hiding under paperback novels i try rereading to fall asleep on and a good thick layer of dust. i miss writing but i have always hated it... i like pounding away at an innocent keyboard a better relief from stress... and anyway, its easier to get disappointed from the latest appalling thought you've just so entusiastically scribbled (making your already uncomprehensible writing even harder to discern than hieroglyphic cave carvings) in the helplessly punctured paper than when you're stupidly staring at the keys of a keyboard and not care at all if what you're writing is spelled incorrectly or not even bothering to recognize the misspelled, unpunctuated grammatically incorrect sentence preceding the last letter you've pounded on like a savage.

sheesh...

i'm unnataturally bored... i've got so much to do or so much to prod myself to pick up and help on to feel bored... but i am. this is not boredom this is ennui... still, what the hell is the difference!?!